Updated: Dec 18, 2018
I recall the moment that I realized I had lost her. I was making yet another dinner, with yet another screaming child crying for some reason, probably something like her sock was on sideways or she couldn't get the toy she wanted from the boxes of toys in our living room/playroom/entertaining area.....The dishes were piling in the sink, at 6:15pm my husband would not be home for another hour, and I was losing it. 2 tiny children and 1 unexpectedly on the way, 3 hours from any family and yet again in a new city where I knew maybe 3 people that I'd spoken to a handful of times. I.was.alone.
My husband was forever supportive, but had no idea what to do when he would walk in the door, I would start crying, pass him the baby, and walk upstairs to breathe. He didn't know. I don't fault him, but this just compounded the feeling of isolation, knowing that everything I was before kids, I no longer was....or so I thought.
Reclaiming your identity as after becoming a mom, a wife, a business owner, a grandmother.....There are big events that happen in our lives all the time. By the time we realize that we've lost her, we often can't even remember the details about ourselves that made us up before the big change....At least not quickly. But once it hits us that this is our current reality, we get to reclaim the power. All of that insane amazing power that you hold within yourself patiently waiting to be let out so your can feel free. And although it seems like a massive undertaking to "reclaim your identity", it really all starts with one question.
What makes you happy?
Not what made you happy when you were 20, or even 5 years ago. At this moment in your life, what makes you happy and what do you crave?
Being outside more?
Adventures with your family?
Clean sheets & a hot cup of coffee??
Don't worry about what your 20 year old self would think about you being happy with your clean sheets.....that girl thought it was a good idea to crash on rando person's couch and stay out consistently until 2 in the morning.....she'll learn eventually....
It all starts with giving yourself the amazing gift of just asking "what the hell do I actually WANT??"
I find that so many of my clients are floored when I ask them this question. "I don't know. I haven't thought about it in a while."
If we are working on creating new habits, feeling healthy, and craving a fulfilling life, isn't it then vital to ask the question so we are moving in the direction of OUR dreams, and not the ones that the perfect social media accounts or commercials would have us believe we wanted?
You have the power. You get to choose. But first you must ask "What makes me happy?"
You are powerful girl. You hold so much value. Now you get to feel it.
Do you want to work through this struggle some more or see what the next steps are to actually put it into action?